I think it's fair to say that all of us have experienced a time when we really just didn't feel like praying, or didn't feel like God was listening to us. Maybe that was one moment that you remember, maybe it's a recurring "problem", maybe it's a constant feeling over the course of days, weeks, or longer. Perhaps you went on a retreat or attended a holy hour where you really felt on fire with the Faith, and now you can't seem to get that fiery spirit inflamed again. Regardless, it can be a frustrating experience.
But is it a problem? Does it mean something is wrong with you?
No. While our emotions are good (they were created by God, after all), they should not be the center of our faith and prayer (or lack thereof).
The following quote explains this wonderfully:
Many times God allows it to be hard to pray, simply to school us in applying our wills, to teach us that the value of prayer does not depend on the amount of emotion we can whip up. Many times the saints had trouble getting excited about prayers, but they said them, because prayers were due and their value had nothing to do with how eagerly they went about saying them. Mary Reed Newland
As Newland said, many of the saints experienced times when they "weren't feeling it" during prayers. Here is what St Thérèse says about this:
When I feel nothing... then is the moment to look for small occasions, nothings that give Jesus pleasure… a smile or a friendly word, when I would much prefer to say nothing at all.
- St Thérèse of Lisieux
I think Thérèse makes an important point here. In those times when we don't feel like praying or don't feel like we're getting anything out of Mass (or something along those lines), the last thing we should do is give up. In order for God to work within us, we must give Him something to work with. I recently heard the analogy that in order to turn a huge tanker out at sea it has to first be moving. We, too, have to be moving toward God as best we can in order for Him to help us as He wishes to. We can offer to God our lack of enthusiasm and our frustration, knowing that He can make good come from anything.
Speaking of the Mass, I want to share one of my new favorite talks with you. It is by Fr Mike Schmidt, and is titled Pray the Mass Like Never Before. It is 45 minutes long, and well-worth every one...
As we consider the role of emotion in the spiritual life, we should keep in mind that what we are striving for in this regard is the virtue of equanimity, defined by Miriam-Webster as "evenness of mind"; essentially, no excess nor significant lack of emotions; the balance between having your passions out of control and being completely drained of any feeling. Temperance plays a huge part in this.
However, it is important to remember that emotions are not bad in themselves. For example, a feeling of peace in making a big decision may very well be a gift from God to let you know that you're making the right choice. Or a feeling that something isn't right/safe in a certain situation may be your guardian angel warning you. Put simply: while they can be helpful aids, we should never base our decisions (including our decision to/not to pray) on our emotions.
Especially if it persists over time, there is also the chance that a feeling of distance from God is coming from reality: each time we sin, we distance ourselves more and more from God.
The soul that is attached to anything, however much good there may be in it, will not arrive at the liberty of divine union. For whether it be a strong wire rope or a slender delicate thread that holds the bird, it matters not, if it really holds it fast; for, until the cord be broken, the bird cannot fly. St John of the Cross
It's a hard reality, but it's important. If you're really struggling, consider the sacrament of confession. If you are truly sorry for the sins you may have committed, even if it doesn't help your emotions, His mercy is guaranteed to help your soul!
Finally, I want to remind you that even “If we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot disown himself” (2 Timothy 2:13). God is always there, and no amount of emotion can change that reality. He is always pursuing you.
